How Does Limiting Others Limit Us In Relationship?

relating and limitationLately I have had the wonderful opportunity to be faced with the obstacle of limitation. Many would think this is a bummer (it isn’t fun to be limited when it comes to relating with other people. But it serves a valuable opportunity to grow.) I’ve had the opportunity to see how it affects a relationship dynamic in which hinders the well being of pretty much any relationship.

From where I sit I see that when we go into relating with others we immediately try and put a label or box around others based on how we want them to be, what role to play in our lives etc. It’s nice and safe but it affects our ability to fully see how beautifully crafted a person is. It stops us from the full realization of what this person is capable of and the potential to share not only their love and passion but to help us grow.

By limiting others, we not only lose the ability to connect to them completely, but we limit understanding of ourselves.

I have been learning that dropping limitation is not something that comes easy only because we are trained to set boundaries so that we may not be hurt or make mistakes. But we don’t grow on a mental and spiritual level unless we have the potential to make mistakes and be hurt. We cannot have it just one way, both ways flow equally in life.

But rather, dropping limitation for another is a moment to moment process.

When mindful of this, it opens the door from moment to moment to fully see someone for who they are, not who we want them to be. It allows us to be open to who they transform into, and to meet that person where they are wherever they are in life at that moment. Sure, we may become heart broken at some point, but there is an art to even being heart broken. This is acceptance and surrender in that moment. This is not to say that we have to accept everyone; we do have the ability of discernment. If disrespectfulness happens and we do not prefer this, by all means accept the fact that you do not prefer this and move on. It doesn’t have to be a problem between you and someone else, but just understanding that this dynamic is not what you prefer.

On Letting Go

There is a little to be said in terms of limitation in respect to letting go. When you feel that another has limited you in some way in which your ability to meet them from heart to heart cannot be. It is okay to let them go. Do not worry, it’s not selfish to do so, and compassion can still be there for that person. In fact, it’s more compassionate to let someone you love go, then to limit each other and both live miserable lives in each others company. 

The object to relating is to allow each other to be as free as possible, so if this means that letting go must happen so that the other can be happy, then allow this acceptance to happen. It may leave your friendship or any other relationship in a state of heart broken-ness but there is nothing saying that this moment will persist forever. (there is never a guarantee one way or the other)

Life in constantly changing billions of times a moment. That is what makes it so beautiful and dynamic.

Moments are changing frequently and what is happening in this moment, may change  in the next. If you can manage it, try not to burn your bridges with people that may have hurt you in the past. Even if for the time being it may not be possible to connect with them. They will be a different person when they see you next. Hopefully the people that come into your life are always surprising you as you let go of your limitations of them. Be receptive to the change and enjoy how they transform before your eyes.

Thank you Life/God/Awareness for being such a wonderful teacher and for teaching me patience, humility, and compassion over the last couple of weeks. It isn’t always easy but nothing said that it was going to be.


Nick Myers, a 28 year old serial blogger. Also minimalist, zen participant, philosopher, author of Emotional Alchemist, and tea disciple. I am one who sees a potential lesson in every experience in life. Life is who we are and life is our ultimate guru. I seek to bring us together through our own shared experiences. And hope to not only learn deeply who I am but to learn deeply who others are by dropping my ideas from moment to moment about you.

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8 comments on “How Does Limiting Others Limit Us In Relationship?
  1. emiella says:

    Reblogged this on Awakening to Being a Vessel for Spirit and commented:
    A great entry by ZenKitties in prowl of another awareness growth potential that lies in the moment when we interact with another. See the beauty in another and if you cannot connect with another heart to heart, it is ok to let it go. Drop limitations for yourself as well as for another person. It’s the path for freedom.

  2. smilecalm says:

    Letting go of limitations, barriers, habits…might be easy, if addictions to attachment were not so seemingly delicious. Though, with each breath, a new beginning. Thanks for inspired sharing.

  3. zenkitties says:

    Thank you Emiella and Chico for both of your support. I’m overjoyed to see that you have gotten something out of it, to the point of re-posting in hopes of sharing what I’ve come to experience and learn on my life path.

    Blessings to you both. =]

  4. zenkitties says:

    Thank you smilecalm for the comment,

    Oh by all means enjoy the agreements you have with yourself. Every limitation has its own consequence, which leads to some form of suffering. Just another taste in the vast sea of the limitless.

    By letting go of limitation, one may expand into a much more rich life than any other limitation may give you. I’m definitely not saying, to give up what you prefer! I’m just saying let go let go let go, and you will be surprised at how much life opens up to you and how little effort it actually takes after the initial un-programming. =]

  5. bussokuseki says:

    That person, THAT person, is the Buddha bowing before us…

    Thank you for sharing & be well~

  6. zenkitties says:

    Yes! The Buddha bowing to the Buddha!

    Be well to you bussokuseki.

    Much love and compassion to you as well.

  7. test says:

    I think this site contains some real superb info for everyone . “Morality, like art, means a drawing a line someplace.” by Oscar Wilde.

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