I feel that zen has served me well over the years through meditation and through every mental facet of my life and one big thing that has helped me work through tough times is being honest with myself. It isn’t just thinking of the laymen term of honesty, but digging deep into your thoughts to see how they are serving you. It serves as a re-orchestrating process over a little discipline to keep us clear of our own misguided beliefs and keeps us from getting too much clutter inside. I can see that being brutally honest allows us to take responsibility for our lives and allows us as human beings to have the great opportunity to accept things for what they are right now. By acceptance that things cannot be anything other than what they are at this very moment allows us to respond rather than to react, and this my friends is something precious inwardly. This is what Zen and Self-Realization has taught me during this beautiful journey of life and continues to do so. With the vehicle of honesty, your relationships will become more fulfilling, people will respect you more, and it will save you grief of having to keep up a fake story of who you want to be seen as, and instead be who you are.
What is the practical application of zen honesty
First, its about seeing that your ideas, beliefs, and concepts, has much to do with the fantasy you feed yourself of how YOU want reality to be. It most likely has nothing to do with how things actually are. For example, when you get upset with someone for acting a certain way, it is not about them wronging you, but about you expecting them to act in a way that you think they should act because of your belief of who they are. By being honest with yourself you will see this and accept this is who they are not who you want them to be.
The next step is then accepting that you feel this way about them, and by accepting that you may feel this way allows you to let things go. The discomfort comes from the lack of acceptance that you feel a certain way towards another, and the fact that you don’t want to feel this way. This kind of zen honesty has a two fold affect; firstly, it allows you to accept and take responsibility for your own feelings, and then allows you to respond rather than react because now you see these tendencies in yourself. Secondly, this allows you to be honest and accept your own feelings, and thus the opportunity to address them and see if you would like these things to serve you in this manner. If you don’t want them to then take note of them, catch them when they come up, and allow them to crumble away on their own.
The benefits of zen honesty
Things that I’ve noticed through looking at life and dealing with reality in this way means that I’m able to see with more clarity, my own hang ups, and to clear them out. I will not lie to you however and say that being honest with yourself is necessarily easy to start with, it is like any other discipline, it takes work over time. It is like planting a seed in soil and watering it everyday to become a tree. The more you water it though is where the magic happens, and once blooming you can use this great tool effortlessly which is one of the great qualities of zen. It is working at a cure to the inner struggle we all have and trusting ourselves. To be honest with ourselves is to accept and love ourselves completely, and with completeness comes liberation. This type of honesty also helps the clearing process of our filters about reality inside which keep us stuck from seeing life clearly.
Secret Formula: Honesty = Acceptance + Responsibility