This seems to be one of those questions that most people either skip over… entirely in their lives as they travel from person to person masking their own un-dealt with problems then doing the work and fixing them, or its always on ones mind. Being content is also one of those things that people think that its all flowers and daisies and get some nirvana esque thought in their head as to how it should be. Both ways are miserable ways of living because one deals with not knowing that they are keeping themselves from being what they are. The other is miserable because of the expectation of something, and having it be totally different.
If I were to have it one way over the other though, I would have the latter, because at least you’re making some sort of progress toward recognizing that something is going on. You may still be in the dark but at least you know that something is amiss in this thing we call life. Being content doesn’t mean you just force yourself to be happy all the time, in fact not even most of the time, its knowing that you are here right now dealing with what is being given and you are okay with it, whether its a loss of a loved one, a broken heart, a new relationship, or any of the other plethora of things in which can parade around in life.
It is that act of knowing that even without this or that in your life that you are okay with yourself, content to be in aloneness and knowing that all of your possessions that keep you happy are within, no one can take that from you. That isn’t to say that you cannot or will not seek the love of someone else; I would say that you are free to do so more then the one that is never happy in a relationship because they are never happy with themselves. Its not that they don’t want to be happy, its that they have never learned because they don’t want to do the work to find out who they are. It seems to be too much of a task of them, so they go about their life sucking the life out of others because it benefits them to do so because they themselves are empty of self-contentment inside. This cuts into a parasite like phenomena, because they will stick around as long as it benefits them to do so and when there is nothing left, they will get bored and move on to the next victim. The thing is, is that they don’t know what they are doing, the thoughts are only doing what they need to feed themselves.
To be content is this, Know what you have is all that you need, and what you have is inside you. You don’t need anything other than what is already given to you. You don’t need a boyfriend/girlfriend every minute of your life to be happy. Being your own best friend is somewhat of a blessing, if you can just stay away from companionship long enough to go inward and find out for yourself. Its not easy work, but its something you can’t forget, and re-discovering it is very beneficial to you.
Then again, there is nothing saying that you can’t seek companionship, and by all means it is a great source of happiness, but I pose the question, wouldn’t it be better if you were joined with anothers best of who they are with your best of who you are and sharing that beauty instead of sucking their best of who they are because you haven’t found your best or even went through the trouble of getting rid of all the dust on your mirror?
Inspiration for this article comes from Seneca which I’m currently reading over right now. Here is Senecas Letter XXVIII where he talks about self contentment. the bold is what I saw catch my eye.