Introspection and making decisions
To put things simply to begin with introspection simply means to look inside for understanding, something that not many of us actually put to practice unfortunately but it is something that if used correctly can get one out of the muck and mire that comes with the “you should do this” or “you should do that” of the outside world. Often times following the crowd is actually not as good of a thing as we think. It is one of those things that seems like the right thing to do but instead will offer you no inward growth. Human beings have since been looking for the easy way out but I’ve recently observed that when it comes to making decisions in life, that there is no easy way out, in fact most our decisions in life will require us to be champions, to bare a cross we did not think we should be baring. Its not that its unfair (although it may feel that way from our perspective), its that its an opportunity for inward growth and no one said it would be easy, wouldn’t take time and effort, or energy from us.
Fear of making decisions
This is where the fear and procrastination sets in. Because we see it as this big obstacles and the feeling that we are faced with no easy task we tend to shrink away. Its these decisions in life that we have to take a look at with an open mind and heart and see what they are really trying to show us. We may not want the momentary heartbreak or stress of this decisions but we know that it wouldn’t be happening if things weren’t always happening for the best. In fact this is always the case, because if it wasn’t then it wouldn’t be happening at that moment. Lifes flow seems to do this 100% of the time, knows its nature very well and implements it without fail within every moment whether you are ready for it or not. So instead of having fear of making decisions, maybe see and accept that the decision will be hard, and there is no clean solution to it, and then surrender to it and see where it takes you without trying to control the outcome.
That is the hard part; trying to control the outcome, because as human beings, we feel we have the best way of moving our lifes flow, but you also have to be aware that all those ideas you think are yours in your head (even if they do sound like you) are not and come from other people, environments, circumstances, which may of been good decisions for that instance, but may not necessarily apply for you. This isn’t about the other thing that it was good for, it is about you and your life, there is a tenfold difference in the too and that is where introspection comes in and over time, inward growth.
Cutting the Bullshit
when you seek to travel by your own light, it means to be completely honest with yourself. You need to ask yourself why is it that you want it to be a certain way, and whos the one actually wanting that outcome. Also what seems logically right to you, and how is it affecting your body when watching these thoughts go in an out. You will be surprised how much your body actually speaks to you if you’re willing to pay attention to it. We think that we should only have to pay attention to our bodies when we’re sick because it seems to be the only thing we can focus on but the body is something that is very receptive to lifes flow. The more you pay attention to it, the more it will tell you about yourself, and the more you know about yourself, the more clear sighted you become about the world around you.
What i’ve recently observed through my own relationships and decisions that had to be made is that, important decisions don’t always have a good immediate outcome, we would like to believe that the “right” decision will heed good results right out the gate but this isn’t true. Sometimes there is no way around but to allow everything that we have come to know about ourselves to crumble and die so that we may get back up as a new us, dust ourselves off and continue on un-chartered territory. This I think is the scary part for most about making decisions in life, and not just making a decision to eat a cookie but stuff like breaking up with someone, or taking a full time career and working strange hours, etc. These decisions often have an unknown element to them, and it isn’t something we’ve dealt with and the feelings don’t feel the slightest comfortable for the most part, and there also be no easy way to do it except subject yourself to it, and allow it to run its course. You may make mistakes along the way in which we all have to live with the consequence of but like I said, inward growth will happen. We learn from our mistakes if we are very aware of what we are trying to accomplish. You will learn so much about yourself over this un-easy period, its spooky. Not only that but you will adapt to it… and there will be a day when the storm almost instantaneously lift just as it had come into view in the very beginning, and everything will have been for the better. You will look back and understand why that had to happen to you. Maybe you will help some damsel in distress with this same lifes situation, or be able to point the way for some troubled colleague at work, who knows what the future will bring but don’t be afraid of letting lifes flow to take you on a ride. For if you are, you live no life at all.
I’ll leave you with this small little imagery:
Sometimes this process will feel like you are at the top of a sky scraper building in your own office suite filled with everything you could of wanted. In and instant your floor is on fire, where there is no chance of escaping the blaze by going out of your office door and down the stares. You will surely burn to death if you do so, and the only way out is breaking through the window to the outside world, only to fall 20 stories to your death. Which one do you choose? Do you stick around and burn to death or do you break through the window and fall to your death? This is the death of the old of course, it isn’t a real death, but in the same token, it is.