I was going to write a whole mess of stuff about the ability of listening but I want to try and simplify it in as least amount of words as possible.
To truly listen is the ability to see the want without adding in YOU. Every humans desire is to be heard, and this just is not possible when you seems to exist.
- When I say you, what I mean is all those wants, ideas, beliefs, and fantasies that are self preserving.
I’m a fan of HGTV and when I watch it you see this happening all the time, but for this particular instance a son who had just gotten released into a the world was looking for a place of his own. As he was searching on this particular show, they show three different locations to the buyer and they are allowed one person to go with them and kind of weigh their options. In this particular episode he brought along his mother. This is how this relates is that the son was really intrigued by the second design layout however his mom had to chime in at every rooms passing: “yeah this room is kind of small.”, “yeah this kitchen is so cluttered.”, “this closet isn’t that big.”, “this master bedroom is small.” This is what it is to not listen. The son obviously liked the cozey little place however the moms reality of what she wanted for her son even though she was living nor paying for it was conflicting with the actual want and need was.
Its important to see these things going on inside yourself, because this affects the kind of solution to conflicts that occur as well. When you get in the way of the solution, the outcome may create things outside of what you truly want. So when it comes to listening.
- Do not trust “you” but see what reality is offering
- Listen to what wants to be heard and follow that flow.
It seems incredibly easy, but try it. It will eventually get easier the more its practiced until its effortless, and all things can become effortless. Its kind of like driving a car. When I first started driving, I had such trouble staying in the specified lane I was in and it felt like such a chaotic thing. Now its just second nature.