It seems that the more days go by the more I see through myself and others how true this is. All I see all day are defense mechanisms these days, to defend ideas and concepts for their own well being. For their own survival, saying yes for the sake of protecting their precious ideas or saying no in sake of protecting their precious ideas even if they are not truthful ideas but illusion.
I can even see myself getting caught up on this little fairy tale, but have been able to work out to the point of catching when it happens to stop the train before it gets fully in motion, to see which mechanisms are going off, that have gone off for 23 years, to watch, to learn, to understand them, and then to let them go.
I would have to say that I’ve made quite a bit of head way and to say this, would also be absolutely correct in saying that I have made no headway at all, for I have put myself in this position to begin with and what we are all trying to get back to is nothing more then what we are, that thing in which has been veiled with all kinds of neat gadgets and tools in life. But instead of them staying tools, they become masters, they control our lives, consume our lives, exhaust our energies, and leave our body in shambles. Do we know what a dis-service we do to ourselves by just blindly believing in any little thing instead of looking at it for ourselves. That is why I’ve come to the point where no belief is true, even my own, because it comes from such a limited stand point which is absolutely partial. There is only limitations when it comes to the intellect and the mind, and so because of this, ideas, concepts, and beliefs.
Taking an introspective look at myself I see that there is nothing there, yet there are things living throughout the day. There are set attachments, beliefs, dreams, and fantasies playing out throughout the day in which makes the personalities life seem real. I see though that waking life is nothing different then deep sleep life. When the body dreams it still reacts to situations in the dream, and even warns the body of sensations and feelings just like the waking life. There is really no difference between the two states. I have also noticed that emotions don’t really play such a big roll or any roll outside of what roll we allow or give them due to specific thoughts (or food for the personality). Investigating emotion only brings up the conclusion that they don’t actually exist nor have power over anything. They spring up from nothing, and then cease and no longer exist in the same instant. I see this as ultimately just being nothing, that something was created for the moment, which is not surprising this should happen.
This doesn’t mean with this realization that emotions stop, because I can attest that they do not, they will still happen, but it is your responsibility or your doing that gives them however much power that they have over you, which also has to do with how much you decide to attach yourself to something. Whether you show attachment to something or not is within your power, and there is no real importance of having an attachment or not attachment as the outcome is determined as to whether you want yourself to suffer or not. If you choose to be attached to someone, you will grieve like the tides of the ocean coming in and out. Life seems to play in a very simple set of laws, but how does no one ever see this?
You cannot forget who you are because you have always been this thing regardless of what you seem to be looking for. What you are, is nothing more than what you are without all the bullshit you’ve tacked onto it… It is like lighting a fire under yourself that engulfs everything that you are, so after everything is engulfed, what is left? (even the fire must burn out some time) What is left after all that is done and gone?
Quit claiming you know, when you don’t know, because you can’t know. Does a baby know what it is when its born?
Is Enlightenment attainable? No. How can it be?