Emotions : Willingness to Relate

This is probably going to be one of those rants, so bare with me, to get what i’m trying to get out. Over the past week or so I’ve been meditating on the source of an emotion feeling and where it’s realities actually lie, only to come up with nothing. I don’t know where any of it comes or goes outside of it being triggered by thoughts, beliefs, and of course habits that the body has learned. It makes me wonder how emotions even exist at all, they seem to come up and for the human body, they are it’s reality telling it what to feel for a given situation given this thought is going through that situation etc…

However with the sense of emotion, I’m not convinced that they belong to me nor even really exist. I know I “feel” these things given i’m in a specific situation but again, I only see these things happening when a given thought arising and that thought reacting in a set programmed way. But when said thought or belief is gone, then where is the feeling/emotion? It goes back to its’ source, or non-existence?

The manifestation of emotion really doesn’t make sense, other than they just happen and then dissipate, and they really hold no solid physical energy outside of the thought, so by just seeing the absurdity of a thought or belief disarms the emotion. Not that you have to see that thought is wrong because this isn’t about the wrongness or rightness of a thought, because thoughts are neither, but to see that even the thought, no matter how “personal” the thought is. The only thing that makes it personal is the environmental and circumstantial programming that, that specific body has experienced, which is why it turns into “my” thoughts.

This brings me to the absurdity of this world, that it is really just a play to be watched. You can see all the drama by just looking, even in our own lives, and see that each character believes in some fantasy to preserve that identity. It’s a fight for survival of something thing that is superficial. Although there is definitely nothing wrong with this (as i enjoy and take part in it as much as watch it unfold) it still leaves me at a continuously exponential loss of will to relate to others.

I feel like I’m slowly losing whatever i had before to relate to other people, you know… those, “you know what i mean??” moments that people pass back and forth? I don’t get that, because I really don’t know what they mean, they are trying to preserve their character to get me to agree to something or to see it and incorporate it somehow with a view that has no view. How can that even be possible? How can i even see what anyone means when I can see even the absurdity in my own conditioned mind, it just seems rather silly. Things people see as problems, I see as best outcomes because how or why would it be happening if it wasn’t the best possible thing to happen in that moment? It couldn’t of happened any other way because well… it didn’t, it’s as simple as that. The if is absolutely never there, you know, “well what if this happened.”

Overall I think what’s trying to be conveyed is that all those thoughts of meaning, or of personal agenda hold no solid ground, so because not even those hold any solid ground, emotion holds no solid ground, and finally because emotions hold no solid ground there should be no obstacle to truth.

But alas, there seems to be, and so the drama continues; can someone get me some popcorn with better, it could get interesting. 😉

Nick Myers, a 28 year old serial blogger. Also minimalist, zen participant, philosopher, author of Emotional Alchemist, and tea disciple. I am one who sees a potential lesson in every experience in life. Life is who we are and life is our ultimate guru. I seek to bring us together through our own shared experiences. And hope to not only learn deeply who I am but to learn deeply who others are by dropping my ideas from moment to moment about you.

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Posted in ego, Mind
2 comments on “Emotions : Willingness to Relate
  1. msayers says:

    Interesting dive, Nick. I love the way you just seem to vomit from your fingertips, directly what’s running through your head at the moment. Very fresh, unedited, and raw. Smells great!

    It’s all a bunch of phantom crap, ain’t it? Nothing really happening, nothing real, just a bunch of crap dancing around in our minds, and we really can’t even prove it. It’s hard to take anything seriously when you get these flashes that show that all of this is just flashes. 🙂

    On the side… I saw that there’s a Fresno Beach. Really? How does that work? You know, we have an Atlanta Beach, but it’s not a city, just a leftover from the ’96 Olympics beach volleyball games. Doh!, nevermind… just found out they changed the name. Clayton County International Park. So there… no Atlanta Beach after all.

  2. Haha, I tend to do that a lot, I actually even waited on posting this to see if someone of it would just go away but it persisted so I just had to write about it. I completely agree mike that its these flashes that just makes it hard for me to be able to take anything seriously, yet i know that it effects people. My friends and family, I see them go through all these things (and I do as well) yet the only reason we suffer is because we’re allowing ourselves to, not because other people are making us suffer. Seeing something from this way of seeing makes everything translucent, and hard to believe that its even a reality at all. Just another version of a dream that we wake up from when we go into deep sleep. 😛

    On the other note, I didn’t know there was a fresno beach either..in fact i looked it up and it seems to look more like a river if it even has water… I have no clue how it would work because fresno is in the middle of the state… not even near the ocean lol… I guess it could be a man made “beach”? we do all kinds of silly things when we crave something… (like we would need to, it’s only like a 2 hour drive to pismo beach. :P)

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