What Am I?

I’ve come back to this question… Something has brought the me back to this question…. and there is no answer.. I don’t know if the feeling of fear or the feeling of wanting to know is greater.

No matter how many times I’ve looked at this question for an answer, I’ve never gotten and answer… well not that the mind can come up with… and even if it did get an answer, what good would it do the mind… it would only be intellectual.

A Fancy question with a fancy answer is how i put it.

Still i’m pulled to ask this question and maybe through all this sleeping i’ll discover that I’m not sleeping at all.

Have you asked yourself this question with your heart. Not with the fancy intellectual… he could answer that question for days… not with him, but with the very thing that we keep go on missing… that thing that is right in front of us… WE ARE MISSING IT AT EVERY MOMENT, until the point at which we are not missing…

Do not trust the one who “knows”.


Nick Myers, a 28 year old serial blogger. Also minimalist, zen participant, philosopher, author of Emotional Alchemist, and tea disciple. I am one who sees a potential lesson in every experience in life. Life is who we are and life is our ultimate guru. I seek to bring us together through our own shared experiences. And hope to not only learn deeply who I am but to learn deeply who others are by dropping my ideas from moment to moment about you.

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Posted in awareness, Contemplation
14 comments on “What Am I?
  1. Hi LiberatedSelf,

    Perhaps the answer does not come in the form that we expect or the form that we are used to.

    Be happy!

  2. Thanks Sandra for the post!

    I agree, it is probably in a way that we do not expect, because if it was expected a certain way, alot more people would have been liberated or would know the Truth haha.

    We keep on exploring the areas that have not worked thinking that the outcome will be different this time around. Is this fear of losing what is known do you think?

    Blessings Sandra! ❤

  3. msayers says:

    This is the most frustrating question in the universe! Who am I? You will never find anyone/anything no matter how much, or how long you look. And I’m just stupid enough to keep looking, too, even after many, many repeated attempts, all ending the same way. AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

    I’ll let you know if I ever come up with something. Maybe it’ll be helpful. Or maybe not.


  4. Hey Mike!

    haha, i agree, it may be the most frustrating but something has us pulled back to it so often… there is something in it…. There seems to be some importance to ask it even if it doesn’t involve an intellectual answer.

    So maybe it calls for Fools such as you and I to come back to it… To be completely receptive to the unknowable outcome… now if that’s not a fool, I do not know what is. Just like you call people Clowns, my definition falls more under Fools it seems.. I don’t know where it came from but its either Fool or a Madman… I mean we must be mad looking into this.

    The intellect, or the fancy pants must be a fool or madman to want to transform itself back into nothing. 😛

  5. Doug McMillan says:

    Hi Liberated Self,

    With a pseudonym like that surely you already know the answer? 😉 Hey, I know you can take a joke, which is just as well!

    If ‘self’ were to be liberated, what would it be liberated from? Ignorance maybe? Possibly the ego, the personality . . even the self itself?

    Perhaps, humour me here please, ‘self’ is itself the problem, is that a possibility? Perhaps self is seeking something, something which is already right under its own nose . . perhaps . . just maybe . .

    Who am I?

    Am I consciousness, am I awareness, am I presence, am I being . . am I what remains when all conditioned thinking and emotional reactivity dissipates, dissolves and is gone from my psyche?

    My answer? Well now, for what it is worth to you and anyone else reading this, I can say that I am all the above and:

    I am alert stillness.
    I am pure and clear perception.
    I am present moment awareness.
    I am the joy of simply being.

    I am the nothingness out of which ‘I’ unfold as life on earth.
    I am the principle of creation that is only experienced as this moment; this perfect moment right here, right now.

    I am:
    Unadulterated ‘I’ + Life Experience – Conditioning = Enlightenment, Liberation & Freedom.

    . . but this is just so much of a ‘cliche’ isn’t it? Just so many worn out words attempting to describe the indescribable reality of who and what ‘I am’.

    Words can only do so much. Direct experience of all that I’ve described above is all that matters. Everything else is so much Bullshit!!

    Enough said 🙂


  6. Hey Doug,

    glad you could take a saunter over to this blog as well!

    You seem in a very cheerful mood tonight and you seem to know the answers, so I’m happy that you know! Very intellectual and the like. =]

    Blessings to you buddy!

  7. Doug McMillan says:

    Thank You Oh liberated One,

    You are very kind, um, I think . . .

    . . . you said above that “you seem to know the answers”?

    No, not at all . . . the realization I had eventually is that there is ‘nothing’ to know! Or to put it slightly differently, ‘I know nothing!’

    I, the thinking mind and/or personality know nothing.
    And yet something deep within me provides me with this knowledge.
    It is ‘Direct Knowledge’.
    It is just there within the mind that is centered in Alert Stillness and Present Moment Awareness.

    Direct knowledge just ‘is’ . . or one could say, ‘I am’.

    A paradox of sorts?

    I was a seeker of the Truth, asking ‘Who am I?’
    I was driven by this search for many years.

    Now I no longer seek anything because when the ‘thinking’ mind goes perfectly still all that remains is the nothingness of being or ‘Presence’.

    So the task, if there is a task 😉 , as you yourself know only too well, is to expand your ‘awareness’.

    Become aware . . .

    . . . but of what?

    Expand your awareness of what?

    What do I, the reader of these words, need to become more aware of?

    I have no answer . . but I may be a finger pointing to the ‘Solution’.

    We live in a world full of people asking questions that lead to answers leading to yet more questions and further answers infinitum. On and on it goes, a world without end . . .

    Offering another human being the solution is like leading a horse to water. You can’t force the horse to drink the water, can you now?

    The problem is that most people are not ‘Aware’ of their own conditioned thinking, attitudes, beliefs, opinions, attachments, fears, doubts and worries etc. If you tell them so, well, they often become offended . . not that it matters one jot! And will these so called ‘seekers’ of truth do what really needs to be done to realize ‘The Truth’ of who they are? Hmmm . . .

    . . . drop everything you think you are and what is left? It is kind of scary for the ego, for the person in you to face its own death . . don’t you know?

    So . . .the solution?

    The solution is a continual expansion of awareness of that very conditioning.

    Observe and become more and more aware of all that has been added to you as ‘conditioning’.

    That is what a condition is; something that has been added to you.

    Awareness of all that you are not, will gradually dissipate all that you are not, leaving only what you really are behind.

    What you really are can never die, only what you ‘are not’ dies in the face of intelligent self-observation, which is ‘Awareness’ in action within the individual wo/mans psyche.

    The secret is in Self-awareness.
    Awareness expands with self-observation.
    Self-observation leads to self-separation; where there is a space or pause between the observer and the observed.
    Eventually all that remains is awareness, which can also be called ‘Presence’ and some teachings describe as ‘Being’.
    Out of this state of awareness arises love, joy, beauty, and direct knowledge of the truth of life.

    That’s it. I’ll shut up now, thanks for the opportunity to participate.

    Doug. 🙂

  8. Hey Doug!

    First of all i would like to thank you. You showed me some feeling that was being defensive in the beginning. I still had it within me and for this I’m thankful to you.

    I really enjoyed your insightful post.

    “We live in a world full of people asking questions that lead to answers leading to yet more questions and further answers infinitum. On and on it goes, a world without end . . .”

    when this was said, it was clear that this can be seen through the questioning, in fact others like Osho have said that the question and the answer are silly, because like you said they only lead to more and more. More to become this or to become that, but the True State or nature never has to become anything, because it is, and always has been eternal and transcends the minds intellect.

    Could you speak more on Self-Seperation, because i know that even through self seperation there is still unity in it, but there seems to be something missing right now. Maybe there isn’t, maybe it’s the gap that I should be looking at.

    “Expand your awareness of what?

    What do I, the reader of these words, need to become more aware of?”

    Is this what is meant by awareness being aware of itself.. and I definitely don’t know how else to describe the state at which I am, i don’t know myself to be anything in particular, there are tons of identities that have been tacked on to the body and even this body i am not.

    Thank you for posting here Doug, it has been much appreciated.
    Also, you can call me Nick if it’s easier for you. 🙂

    Best Blessings.

  9. Hello Nick, it is very nice to meet you . .

    Thank for your very friendly reply, it is much appreciated, and it is also good of you to allow me to call you by your first name . . thanks.

    I did pick up on your resistance . . but that’s OK . . because resistance is futile . . .

    It is futile because you can’t ‘offend’ an enlightened mind. How could you when it is already in the natural state, a state of innocence? The inner sense is innocent . . which means that it is free of original sin (tell me Nick, what is original sin?).

    Do you honestly think that the innocent state can be offended by ignorance? Pardon me Nick, I wasn’t trying to offend you with that comment. But only the ‘conditioned self-ego-personality’ can feel offense, the enlightened individual is just one step beyond that.

    You must ask yourself this question:

    “Who or what is it within you that is feeling resistance?”

    Be honest, does it in any way ‘wind you up’ or annoy you to hear someone else declare themselves to be ‘enlightened’? If it does, well don’t worry, it’s meant to. We all of us feel that we should be the one who is enlightened and the ‘conditioned self-ego-personality’ doesn’t like to hear that another has perhaps achieved something that is also so close to its own heart . . .

    . . . but don’t worry, I’m not really enlightened am I, so it’s fine for you to feel that way . . . 😉

    By the way the word ‘enlightened’ is just that; it is just a word. The word is not the thing, it’s just a pointer!

    So Nick, who is it who feels resistance or offense within you at any time?

    Actually it was your resistance coupled to your succinct comments on Mike’s blog that attracted my attention. I recognized the symptoms of an intelligently alert mind that is looking for more than just another sequence of questions and answers.

    I may be wrong but I sense that you would like to ‘realize’ ‘The Solution’ wouldn’t you? In other words you want to ‘be’ the solution and have the direct experience of the truth of yourself . . if there is a truth to be realized . . . then you want that, right? If not then this is a waste of time. How hungry are you, how important is all of this to you? You don’t have to answer me personally but you do need to ask those questions of yourself; just how badly do you want to self-realize?

    Right, back to our subject, there are two points I want to cover:

    1. Resistance is a necessity, why? Because it has a purpose.
    What is the purpose of resistance? It is a form of protection, but there is more to it than that.

    Resistance to people like me will allow you to do what you are doing now. What are you doing? You are asking questions; which leads me to point number . .

    2. You have to ask intelligent questions that test me out. After all I could be a complete fraud or a fool, couldn’t I?

    I say that I’m neither; I would say that though wouldn’t I? You should destroy what I say if you can . . never believe a word anyone says on this subject but don’t disbelieve it either; DO remain ‘open’ and Always question and investigate everything . . leave no stone unturned in your quest to discover the truth . . . until the quest in you dissipates.

    So, I would say that questions are in fact a necessity, because they also have a purpose. Eventually you will run out of questions as every answer I give you points you towards ‘The Solution’.

    Eventually only The Solution remains.

    You said: “The True State or nature never has to become anything, because it is, and always has been eternal and transcends the minds intellect.”

    Absolutely right. What is it that wants to become? Ha, ha, you already know the answer to that. Whatever it is, it is not what you are looking for . . .

    That word ‘eternal’ is an important pointer. It points you to that place within you that has no beginning or end. What is that place? Is it what you have previously called ‘awareness’? Again, don’t forget that the word is not the thing . . all of this is simply an intellectual exchange between two guys over the internet at the moment; that is unavoidable.

    You have to experience the eternal state as your own state of being . . as I have done here. Then it is no longer an intellectual chit-chat because when you experience ‘eternity’ as a state within your own being, you actually become that state or you could say that you realize that you always were eternal . . . only Now is Real!

    So there you go, Awareness is another word used as a pointer. What else have any of us got to communicate with here on the internet but words?

    Being, Presence, Consciousness, Awareness, The Eternal Now Moment . . are all words being used to describe a state that is beyond description but not beyond experiencing.

    The words are pointers, and I use accurate words as best I can . . but the word is not the thing. And that is why enlightenment, liberation, salvation, freedom and all the other spiritual words used to describe something beyond the thinking minds comprehension are not what you ‘THINK’ they are. When the thinking mind goes perfectly ‘STILL’ then, and ONLY then will you know; and you’ll know through DIRECT KNOWLEDGE, or revelation if you will, what it is impossible to put into words. Do you see this?

    . . . and yes, awareness is aware that it is aware . . no thought is required thank you very much, so stop thinking and simply ‘be’.

    Self-separation? You know that awareness is in there don’t you? It is that pause, that inner space between your thoughts.

    When you become aware of your ‘self’ as the observer of thought you are separating from thought. It is in that moment of awareness of the thought that you separate from it.

    When you become aware of yourself as the observer of emotional reactivity you begin to separate from emotion.

    The space between the observer and the observed grows until there is nothing left to observe, at which point both the observer and the observed go . . . and all that remains is?

    You know the answer. But the word is NOT the thing, and what remains is pretty close to nothing or NO-thing, which is what it is to simply ‘BE’. It is a very substantial state of being; gee . . the great paradox . . the No-thing that is so substantial that everything unfolds out of it!

    There you go. I do hope that answered your questions adequately, but if not don’t be afraid to put me straight. Come on now, what is your take on all this?

    Doug 🙂

  10. Hey Doug,

    glad to see you’ve stuck around… let me see if Truth allows itself to participate on this side of the fence..

    What I see as original sin is the dream in which we are separated.. The forgetting that we are all connected, we are not what we perceive ourself to be…

    When I was under the “christian” name we were lead to believe that sinning was bad and evil but the actually definition of sin is merely missing the mark and isn’t that what most human beings go on doing, we live in this dream state even when the eyes are open.

    I don’t know if you’re enlightened or not but then again, who’s the one becoming enlightened or liberated… or who is the one becoming, and why is there a feeling of wanting to become something that I am. I realize it with the intellect but I want to be who i Am (or like you said, be the solution)

    The feeling of resistance isn’t coming from me, its coming from inside of me, but it is not who i am, because that resistance wasn’t always there… so i guess I could suspect that the resistance is coming from the thought itself, and I’m most certainly not thought… If i were then there would be less of who i am when thought was gone yet when it is gone, I’m still here.

    Haha, ignorance, I was quite surprised by that word, because i forgot how really ignorant i am, I don’t actually know anything about anything, How can I know though… what i am, I think i resonate with what maharaj asked when he said, “can a knife cut itself.” I always refer to knowing not in its traditional sense but in some sense I know something that I can’t know… the unknowable. I don’t know this thing yet It feels like I know it… does this seem like a roadblock?

    I very much so want to re-discover my true nature, I want to see it, I want to taste it, and I want to be it in this eternal present moment… but again how can you give this to me, that which I never lost? Can the experience be transmitted through this space to that space?

    If you are a master, how can I ever be sure, you offer a lot of good information and things that make sense to the mind, but there still seems to be some skepticism in there… wherever that is…

    I do see the difference between what i am and thought… It feels like almost a continuous silence that sits between the thought and the observe or maybe the observer is the silence (or awareness).

    Why is the mind afraid to just give up its grasp of the identity, to die to itself, to see what it really is?

    “Self-separation? You know that awareness is in there don’t you? It is that pause, that inner space between your thoughts.

    When you become aware of your ’self’ as the observer of thought you are separating from thought. It is in that moment of awareness of the thought that you separate from it.”

    So wouldn’t it be that the self separation happens within the awareness and not the other way around?

    Thanks you for taking the time to comment. Also thank you for allowing me to see the resistance inside, if it weren’t for you, it would may have been repressed even more.


  11. Doug McMillan says:

    Hello Nick . . how the devil are you?

    Sorry I’ve not been about much, no excuses from me, just the movement of life doing what it does.

    Some little pointers:

    Forget the word enlightenment, don’t seek anything, especially enlightenment . . . . .

    . . . when you have the direct experience of this state you’ll end up laughing uncontrollably at its simplicity.

    A Master? An interesting thought. What is the master a master of? In my experience you can only be the master of one thing and that is . . . your own mind. I’m not here to pretend I’m anything . . I’m nobody’s master or Guru Nick . . .

    . . . but I am my own master; meaning that I’ve mastered my own mind. My mind is perfectly still and yet fully, intelligently, alert. My awareness is therefore in this present moment; it is not lost in the last moment or hungry for the next moment, neither of which are real. Only this moment, here and now, is real.

    Guru is another word, just a pointer, what it really represents is a state of being, it isn’t personal . . it is not a person or individual. It is what one ‘is’ when one is no longer mastered by discursive thought and has realized a greater truth-reality-integrity.

    You are either the master of your mind, or your mind is your master; which is it? Most people are mastered by their minds. Their minds think aimlessly and problematically running a program of discursive thinking in the background of their lives. On the other hand many people have mastered their minds to a degree, but it’s a little like claiming to be the master of a dog who bites you occasionally . . .

    . . . far better to get complete control and not get bitten, don’t you think?

    Ignorance is a word that has come out of the word to ‘ignore’ and when we behave in an ignorant way we are usually ignoring something; usually the obvious. Each of us is ignorant until we are enlightened . . .

    . . . oops, sorry, I shouldn’t have used that word :-p please forgive me.

    There is nothing wrong with ignorance, it helps us to see that something is missing, like when we suddenly realise that we are feeling resistance to something and in that moment of realization we are ‘free’ of it.

    It is in that moment of awareness, awareness that ‘I’m behaving ignorantly’, that I break free of it. That’s why self-observation is so important. It allows us to see the ignorance, the resistance, anger, fear etc. And in that moment of seeing it, we separate from it a little, and see that:

    ‘It’s not me, I’m not this ignorance I’m observing; I’m that which is aware of it.’

    Everything happens within ‘awareness’. You are pure awareness or consciousness, everything happens within its sphere; which is your sphere. You, as Pure Awareness, are at the centre of the sphere, which is like a mighty dynamo spinning around. The further you move out from the centre of your sphere the more movement there is . . just as it is with a wheel or dynamo . . but the centre is . .

    . . . Perfectly Still.

    Pure Awareness is perfectly still. Your awareness is not ‘Pure’ . . as yet; I could be wrong but I’m basing that statement on what you’ve told me to date. When you reach the centre, your centre, or when you are perfectly centered, your mind becomes still because your centre is already perfectly still. The movement of thought is on the outskirts of your sphere . . .

    . . . you have to get centered. Forms of Meditation helps us to become centered, some methods more so than others. The Purest form of meditation requires you to simply ‘Be’ the observing intelligence that observes the mind in action; thought.

    What is original sin? Yes, it is that first moment of separation, when awareness became less pure. Awareness in its pure state is ‘oneness’. We are all ‘The One’ at the centre of the sphere. There is only ‘One’ emanating out of the centre of the sphere to become the many. When you get centered, when you get back to your centre, you realise oneness and awareness as ‘one’ state.

    So . . .

    . . . Man ‘thought’ for himself, and in so doing he was no longer ‘Pure’ awareness, therefore his awareness became sullied and impure through the action of discursive thinking within the psyche.

    It is true that I and my father are one; but not when I am not centered, because when I move out of my centre I separate from the ‘father’ or there is farther distance between my awareness and my purity at my centre.

    I can keep saying the same things using different words but that is enough for now.

    By the way, I mentioned the devil at the outset of this comment, so I’ll finish on the same note. Did you know that your likes and dislikes stick out of your consciousness like two mountain peaks to be observed; or like the horns of the devil maybe? Your likes and dislikes stand out as eminently observable aspects of your psyche . . keep a look out for em 😉

    All the best,


  12. Hey Doug,

    Pleasure to have you back, I know how life happens, I’ve had alot of that lately with this story of college, and some silly story drama haha. Infact recently it has felt like things really are just a dream, taking a step back from them I can unmistakably say, “those things aren’t even really happening, they can be stopped at any time.”

    How do you deal with the parts of you that are unaware though (other people). I feel that there is no separation… but it doesn’t stop others from falling in their own illusory stories, or is it really just I falling into my own illusions again. There has to be a part of me that still somehow grasps at the thought of separation.

    Ignorance doesn’t bother me, the word itself is just a word and its been established that all words are dead and static. Words can only point you to the water but they can’t make you drink. The personality has read much about Nisargadatta Maharaj where he uses it a lot.. haha..There are alot of relative truths in this world, personal truths… that is maya, that one does not see reality for what it is, is this the only reason why there is suffering, because we are not in touch with Truth or Reality?

    Also I hadn’t realized that before, that likes and dislikes are like two valley peaks… I see that now… it’s like the pendulum, that any happiness that is there is bound to have a sorrow to follow it, a pendulum cannot stay in the same place forever, unless the pendulum is resting in the middle, can there be truly the essence of peace is, whatever that really is.

    I have sort of a quirky question for you, although I know this is phenomenal experience, but do you have anything to say on transference of love, transferring what you are into someone else so they can see what they are themselves? or allowing them to sustain that state, say through like a hardship or would not be advised?

    Thanks for stopping by doug, my talks with you are muchly appreciated and I’m very thankful, that you’ve taken the time out of that personalities day to answer such questions.

    I know the question and answer becomes inevitably useless, but if the question is always there within us, then there will always be a feeling of separation wouldn’t there?

  13. Doug McMillan says:

    Do not trust the one who “knows”.

    Remember those words? Of course you do Nick, they are yours, but who is the one who knows? I would say it is the one who is separated from their reality . .

    . . . Hawkins, Dawkins and Father Lawkins all know something, and yet they know nothing outside of their conditioned thinking . . .

    An individual man or woman who has the courage to speak from the heart, do they come into that category; what say you?

    The fact is that if one uses the word ‘I’ and says something daring like ‘I am enlightened’, it is easy to think that it is the ‘ego’ talking, isn’t it? It isn’t easy to tell who or what is communicating; is it the ‘real I’ or the ‘false I’?

    The ‘false I’ is the ‘conditioned personality’.
    The ‘real I’ is what you realize you are when you move beyond that ‘conditioned personality’; Pure ‘Silent’ Awareness.
    After the realization?
    You are still a Man, but with less baggage.

    Before the realization you are:
    ‘The Real ‘I’.
    The Conditioned Thinking/Emotive Mind
    A body in existence.

    After the realization you are:
    The Real ‘I’.
    The Still Mind
    A body in existence.

    This whole separation thing, let’s look at it, not intellectually, no, but from a point of ‘understanding. What you can come to understand you can do something about and maybe move ‘beyond’ into something greater than understanding . . .

    I write from ‘stillness’ . . I don’t think about it, I pause and let the stillness, the silent awareness, write. I live my life in exactly the same way. How is that possible? I’ll show you how I do it so that you can do likewise, here goes.

    I have re-connected with ‘reality’. Obviously I must have been separated from reality in order to reconnect with it! Reality is not outside of you, it is within you at that centre I spoke of in my last comment; that is where I communicate from, from my centre of stillness and clarity of perception or Pure Awareness.

    I hope you don’t mind but I want to look at that word religion, what does it mean? Hm, well it doesn’t mean what the world thinks it means that’s for sure. The original Latin word ‘re-ligio’ means: The re-connection of man with his reality. . .

    But this is all just intellectual stuff isn’t it? Yes and no. It is all of the ‘understanding’ mind, but that very understanding leads us to ‘aha’ moments, ‘The Ring of Truth’; those moments that resonate within you and can take you deeper into your being, into your reality.

    What is the problem we, each of us, are dealing with?

    Well now, I (the reader) am, seemingly, in two places at once. I’m at the centre looking out at existence from this point of purity and clarity as ‘I’, Pure Awareness, and I’m in existence as a man, a person in form. There is something in between that has to be bypassed or transcended, what is it? It is my conditioned ‘thinking’ personality.

    The conditioned thinking person is the illusion; it isn’t real. It is the false I.

    The real ‘I’ is who or what I am; Pure or unadulterated Awareness.

    What adulterated your awareness?

    The conditioned self/personality is the culprit.

    Now Nick, if that is correct, and I say it is, what is the task?

    Right, I say there is only one task and that is to become totally and utterly aware of every aspect of the culprit; the conditioned thinking self-personality-ego . . call it what you will.

    At the moment you are confused because the false I and the real ‘I’ are entangled as one within your mind. As a result you can’t see the wood for the trees. You will have to spend plenty of time doing the one and only worthwhile activity; self observation.

    Self-observation is you being a ‘Silent Witness’ of your thinking principle. I’ve covered this ground before, but it is vital, the cunning westernized thinking personality will do anything to avoid doing what needs to be done. It would rather talk about this stuff than do it. What must you do? What? Some will tell you to simply ‘be’; right . . that’s wonderful, simply be??? How?

    You can’t simply ‘be’ because the ‘conditioned thinking/emotive personality’ has taken complete control of your mind, it has set up camp there, it did so when you were still just a child and it slowly took over; convincing you that ‘it’ is you!

    Wow, what an audacious act of war, you are already ‘its’ prisoner! It is the act of a ‘Parasite’ an ‘Alien’ thing that has surreptitiously taken possession of its prey and now lives off it, sucking the life, the love and joy out of it; and all without its victim even knowing that anything is amiss. What a ‘Devilishly’ clever adversary this ‘thing’ is that takes possession of every wo/man during childhood and then lives through each of us creating hell on earth . . .

    What? You think I exaggerate? Not at all. I wish I was simply a mad man, and that what I’ve written here was not the truth . . . but it is. It is the conditioned personality that creates every problem on earth. Remove the conditioning from your mind and what do you think remains? Pure Awareness.

    Your task involves you becoming aware of everything you are ‘NOT’, but presently think you are, so that you can separate from ‘it’, see ‘it’ for what ‘it’ is and return to your original Innocent state of Pure Awareness; the Real ‘I’.

    Do the work. The only way to ‘free’ yourself is by becoming so completely ‘self’ Aware that in the end all that remains is Pure awareness.

    Transference? I’m transferring something here . . are you picking up the signals?

    That was a hot reply . . let’s see how you cope with it 😉


  14. The individual man or woman speaking from the heart, would not be speaking from conditioning, if the heart is speaking, it comes from non-separation. The bodies are only a illusory appearance. So it wouldn’t be that the individuals are actually speaking but the fact that words or being spoken. It is not them that knows it but something else, this thing I do not know.

    Where is the ego? There seems to be no location, no localization for it, what is actually being seen is that there are thoughts, concepts, beliefs, but there is no real identity outside of that collaboration. So I do not know of the ego, and I am not the ego, I don’t even know if that every really does exist.

    Conditioning… this happens to the body earlier on, ever since the body is created from its parents, society, etc. all of which seem to be outside of that body but you cannot possibly be that, because what happens when those things are missing, are gone? I am still there, but those things are missing.

    Who is the one who is separated from reality, if Reality is what we are, and always have been?

    “The original Latin word ‘re-ligio’ means: The re-connection of man with his reality. . . ”

    The first thing that comes to mind is that there is agreeance, but I don’t honestly know who agrees, something does. And this does not refer to man in the personal aspect but more of all creation, if it were to mean otherwise would it not mean that there is separation?

    “Right, I say there is only one task and that is to become totally and utterly aware of every aspect of the culprit; the conditioned thinking self-personality-ego . . call it what you will.”

    A story about the master telling his disciple about the most important thing is and the meaning of it, “Awareness Awareness Awareness means Awareness!”

    To put every thought, belief, and concept under close scrutiny, to ask, who is the one who knows this to be true?” Why is there resistance here?”

    “Well now, I (the reader) am, seemingly, in two places at once. I’m at the centre looking out at existence”

    Where is the centre, is it that Awareness that sees thoughts, concepts, beliefs, and the physical bodies sense all at the same time yet is in always complete stillness?

    Wow, what an audacious act of war, you are already ‘its’ prisoner! It is the act of a ‘Parasite’ an ‘Alien’ thing that has surreptitiously taken possession of its prey and now lives off it, sucking the life, the love and joy out of it; and all without its victim even knowing that anything is amiss. What a ‘Devilishly’ clever adversary this ‘thing’ is that takes possession of every wo/man during childhood and then lives through each of us creating hell on earth . . .

    But this is part of the I as well, it is within the I, so it can’t be all bad. However it is not actually the doer of action, it has been mislead somewhere that it was who I am but I am not this thing, but how to go about letting it go without repressing, and resisting, is it just to observe it, to understand it? It is a parasite but even whatever this is wants to come back to the Truth, if it didn’t, then this conversation would never be taking place, You and I would not be talking.

    hmm… transference of love…. or truth… they are one and the same, there was never any separation between the two. What does the truth feel like in terms of body sensation? Is it that deep resonation, almost like a letting go of something troubling, it is no longer there?

    Thanks again Doug, quick reply!


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