Story: Don’t Change

Book: The Song of the Bird

I was a neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and
selfish. Everyone kept telling me to change.

I resented them, and I agreed with them, and I wanted to
change, but simply couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried.

What hurt the most was that, like the others, my best friend
kept insisting that I change. So I felt powerless and trapped.

Then one day, he said to me, “Don’t change. I love you just as you are.”
Those words were music to my ears: “Don’t change. Don’t
change. Don’t change…I love you as you are.”

I relaxed. I came alive. And suddenly I changed!”

Now I know that I couldn’t really change until I found someone
who would love me whether I changed or not.


Is this how you love me, God? -Anthony De Mello (commentary)

Right now, I’m trying to grasp the magnitude of what this is implying… that we are all searching for that
“I love you the way you are” secretly from someone who cares enough to bypass all judgment even at the
dark recesses of where we have come from (the past). We are searching for ourselves in the same right to find out what we truly are, but we all seem to get caught up in all the dramas going on in our days, I’ve noticed this lately bubbling up, and I’m not sure what the cause of it is, in fact I’m not really that concerned about the cause. It doesn’t keep the mind from suffering but what can be done about this, its going to happen whether I try and “suppress” it or not, if I suppress something like this, it only gets stronger and if I don’t and let it play out, let the suffering happen then it passes in due time. I have not done anything in terms of suffering, it just merely came and went.

What it comes down to is having a stable ground in who you are, being aware of your being, Your True Nature. No one promises that enlightenment will cease suffering within the body, but the awareness of things brings understanding, and with understanding allows you to see it instead of attaching to it.


Nick Myers, a 28 year old serial blogger. Also minimalist, zen participant, philosopher, author of Emotional Alchemist, and tea disciple. I am one who sees a potential lesson in every experience in life. Life is who we are and life is our ultimate guru. I seek to bring us together through our own shared experiences. And hope to not only learn deeply who I am but to learn deeply who others are by dropping my ideas from moment to moment about you.

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Posted in Mind, Story
2 comments on “Story: Don’t Change
  1. Kelly says:

    I saw that you tagged me in this and my heart stopped. I read the title and knew the potential of tears that could follow. Unconditional love… healing this broken soul one reminder at a time. Thank you.

  2. I’m glad you enjoyed it kelly, i hope that it helped in some way… You are very welcome.

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