From this recent fall from knowledge, I’ve been trying to get stuff out before everything becomes fresh and new, it has been happening more and more and I’m not really sure where the road has been taking me, it seems to me that I slowly become more of a fool everyday, getting down to the bare basics of existing, that knowledge has only made this difficult. Has only given strength that there is a personality (mind). However I’m not sure there actually is, the more we look for the mind, the more and more you’ll find that it is not present. Have any of you ever really gone deep within yourself to search at where the mind is located on the person, pinpointing its exact existence? I have a little bit to no avail, it doesn’t surprise me however, I wasn’t expecting to find anything ground breaking to say, “this is where the mind is” as science has not even been able to penetrate this question.
This is how I’m not the Mind:
I’ve noticed lately (or is it lately but it has been progressively becoming more apparent) that things seems to happen in life that seem to throw out a lot of drama. Where does this come from though, what we have come to know “our mind” is putting on some kind of drama; what many would consider to be a play… and that we are not actually not in the play as much as we are the audience watching the play…
Here is why i think this..is that many sages, gurus, and mystics, have hit home the fact that we are the “sky” in a symbolic sense and that the clouds are thoughts (or what we think to be the mind).
So what is the mind?..
Is it who we are or something that we (Who we actually are, whatever that is) take itself to be, because of its attachment to the idea that, “I am this personality, this is who I am?” But if we were this personality, then what happens when a thought or concept changes in the mind, when one thought over drives another and extinguishes it because it is either: higher in logic, workers better for the minds lifestyle, or just seems more appetizing to believe?
Note: *Before I go further I want to clarify something, I will be using Observer because I am at a loss for words to describe myself or anyone else for that matter, I do not know what to call myself or another except that You are who You are. So i will either say the observer or the one who witnesses.
The observer watches this without discrimination, the change in the thought and the body continues with action accordingly to the minds thought change. The Observer watches it, but is not affected by the change, It has neither been diminished or accelerated. This observer does not grow nor diminish. The old thought is gone but You still are. The mind thinks that it is whoever, based on food that it has received. In this case food is anything from the gross substance to habits its learned, concepts its taken in, things that has been imposed on it from others that it relates to and is attached to. But those things can easily be seen as transitory, they will die eventually, those thoughts will change for new thoughts (like the example above), so they cannot possibly be you. For it to be You, they would have to be in a constant state, otherwise at some point there would be nothing left of you, would you even still be you if you were those thoughts?
Also, the mind adapts to situations, for example:
A person is at a party with some friends and they are the party type indeed with their own habits of gossip, party games, and the person may fit in with a slight change of attitude and view of some things. Now this could be who the person is but what happens when he leaves the party and sees another group of intellectuals at a coffee house. This person demeanor changes drastically, he is the intellectual, he asks deep questions, he talks deeply, he relates to people. He is a totally different person, so which person is he? Its a split person, a chameleon, simply performing the duty of a each group. Is it that he is both, or is it that he is neither. Could it be that he is both? That he is both of those people but neither one of them at the same time?
Thought is there to be a certain way, but where is the mind other than a compilation of thoughts which then makes some decision that because of this collection of ideals, beliefs, and impositions that it is a “personality.” In fact there is nothing wrong in the thought that I am this personality nor is there any need to renounce it, because whether it is or is not gives no troubles, all that needs to take place is understanding that one is not what he makes himself out to be. He goes beyond concept itself, and how can he be the mind and where is the mind even at?
Look inside of yourself and search for yourself, don’t take my personal experience like its truth, I can’t hold your hand on this. I can only give pointers, but the journey is something you can not lead someone into, they have to earnestly see it for themselves.
I would like to give one more example on how I am not the mind… Lately on waking up near the morning, there is that moment in which absolute silence takes place before the thought kicks in, that which the identity has not been asserted, where does this come from, if you are who everyone tells you, you are, and you would think if you really were the identity, where would the sense in losing it in deep sleep? Also the fact that you can watch the thoughts during sleep, and you can also observe them being dropped just before deep sleep.
This is How I’m Not The Mind.