image credit via Juan Manuel Cruz del Cueto on flickr

What Is Acceptance?

I found that through relating with others, that like most of the philosophy that I live under, that acceptance isn’t just about the belief itself. Like we may have come to know just because we believe in accepting others, doesn’t mean that we live what we believe. So taking this to heart and to really turn it into a practical skill in every day life takes some re-orchestrating of what it means to accept each other. One of the main things with acceptance first comes with accepting yourself.

Without completely accepting yourself you live in a filter that colors others with those delusions.

And they most certainly will manifest in others what you don’t like about yourself. I feel this is important to see because then we can start looking into what about ourselves that we are not particularly comfortable with facing. I will also reach into the great stoic philosopher Seneca the Younger for some inspiration in this area. One of my all time favorite quotes of this brilliant man is as follows

“…Why does not one admit his failings? Because he’s still deep in them. It’s the person who’s awakened who recounts his dream, And acknowledging one’s failings is a sign of health.” – Seneca

What he’s getting at above is that only until we see ourselves from moment to moment completely are we able to change those parts of us that are no longer working to our benefit.

On Accepting Yourself Completely.

So at a very practical level, you want to be able to dive even into the uncomfortable parts of yourself that make you completely who you are from moment to moment. By discovering this part of you and openly seeing that is part of you too. You now have that power to start to use emotional alchemy. That is, to change it in a way that will not only benefit you, but benefit your relationships with other people.

By accepting yourself, and dropping your old ideas about yourself, opens you up to have less of a filter that paints a grey overcast picture on your life.

I will however tell you that in my experience of this, is it isn’t always going to be an easy process. This often brings up stuff that you haven’t dealt with before. It may be really hard to sit with some of the things that may come up, and can create some emotional turbulence which may require your loving compassion and mindfulness toward yourself. I wouldn’t take back what I have gone through though in my experience of acceptance  It has brought me mental growth, has brought me closer to my parents, friends, and others who I can openly say that I love and still maintain friendships with.

One last misconception about this process is that, people think by wanting to change those aspects about us isn’t acceptance, I would beg to differ. Just because we see and accept that is the way we are right now doesn’t mean that we don’t need to learn to work to make ourselves happy in making things more efficient (if that is what you want to do.)

It comes down to your discernment at this point which things can stay and which things can go in place of new possibly better things. You become your own guinea pig.

What Are The Consequences of Accepting Yourself?

These consequences aren’t actually bad. As a by-product of the accepting yourself movement, you begin to accept others as well. You also might begin to have a sense of compassion for others that are currently stuck in this trap. This process also leads to the begin process of self-content nature. It also allows love to flow in where you had been blocking it to do so based on what you thought you should or shouldn’t have been.

By accepting yourself, you will begin to accept others for who they are, and will see that you can now more easily drop your mental checklists of them, and that our nature is ever changing. It is in a constant state of flux just like you’ve seen your movement change so quickly, you begin to realize that every human being has this capability (not that it is always exhibited). It just takes a small change in mental perspective.

Accepting yourself is probably one of the best things you can do when relating to yourself and others.

image by aturkus’ via flickr

I think that deep breathing meditation is worth a look at seen as in general deep breathing has a lot of benefits on it’s own and meditation has a lot of benefits on it’s own. So why not smash them together like a delicious delectable smore. I have written about deep breathing before but never linked the two together into one article and feel it’s as good time as any. Plus I have a little more insight into how this can help in breathing meditation.

Firstly a plethora of detox in deep breathing meditation includes releasing up to 70% of bodies toxins, muscle tensions relax, and increase immune system. More oxygen to your blood cells means an overhaul of your bodies health.

When in meditation what this would look like is to consciously focus on your breath and how your stomach fully accepts the breathe coming in, and not stop at the chest. Because of various circumstances in the past our bodies somehow adapted to mostly only breath from the chest in everyday life which isn’t healthy. Re-learning this method of deep breathing can help your body in so many ways.

Mental Health Benefits of Deep Breathing Meditation

Well because we are not only focusing on the breath but breathing the right way, filling up our stomach and our chest cavity the first thing you’ll notice that because the focus is on the breath, thoughts will begin to take a back seat. Because thoughts take a back seat, tensions in the body will release. Our ongoing self-monologue actually brings us a lot of our stress during day to day activities so letting the brain know it can take a rest because of focus on something else is a must. Your brain will thank you later the better you get at it!

And because your movement has become inward through this process, and the fact that you’re getting more oxygen to your body, it elevates the mood. This also has to do with the narrator being cut out of the moment to moment movement of the breath. It is relaxing, and calms down the heart because your heart will no longer have to use so much energy to keep the body going! How cool is that?!

Physical Body Benefits of Deep Breathing Meditation

And according to an amazing article that I found on the benefits of just deep breathing I will give you the short recap of said benefits plus a link to the 18 benefits of deep breathing.

• Strengthens the Lungs
• Massages the Organs
• Improves Nervous System
• Increases Digestion of Food
• Strengthens the Immune System
• Helps Release Muscle Tensions

And if those don’t sell you on working on deep breathing meditation, I don’t know what will.

Methods

This method and a couple of others can also be found in my new eBook Emotional Alchemist but here is a modified version that I suggest.

• Find a quiet place and sit in a position most comfortable for you.
• Close your eyes and relax and begin to become conscious of breathing fully through the stomach and chest.
• Focusing on the full in breath through the nostrils and out breath through the nostrils count one.
• Once you reach 10, start over.
• Do this for 10 minutes to start and then increase once the habit is learned.

I feel that even small amounts of deep breathing meditation are good. It’s better then none at all right? Starting at a small goal is good also for maintaining a more healthy habit. Something that may save some years of your life!

So what is it? Is it just some philosophy that will loosely fit on the mental bookshelves of our minds? Well it can yes, but if we put it to work for us, it can be a very practical way of living. Not just with ourselves (because let’s face it, we are the most important person under the sun), but with others in our lives that we directly affect.

Emotional alchemy is a way in which to radically change unconscious reactions into conscious responses.

It is like the story goes, that an alchemist can change coal into gold, or any other material into something much more efficient or useful for the circumstances. So if you look at it from the human suffering standpoint. We are radically changing those perceived negative reactions into a springboard in which give way to a positive response. A way in which to see the growth opportunity from every of life’s situations and through our experience are able to drop those old no longer useful beliefs.

It gives us the chance to really take responsibility of our own lives, and to drop those things about ourselves that have been holding us back for so long. That inner voice inside that tells you that you can’t do something. I call this the story line which becomes a comedy once it is seen through. Don’t worry our story lines are not our authentic voice, and they only have as much power as they are allowed or that we have agreed to give them.

How can emotional alchemy help me practically?

Well there are many areas in which this transformation process actually does affect. For instance, seeing through our own stories that we make up in our heads allows us to not take them so seriously. Because of the fact that they aren’t actually going on in the world. When effort is put into seeing through this, the voice is quieted allowing life to show you exactly what you need to know at that moment.

Another big plus to emotional alchemy is self-contentment. This is one of the biggest virtues that I’ve come across as a student of life. With self-contentment, life no longer becomes just manipulation (this may still come up from time to time) but less often.

When someone is self-content, no one has anything to offer them that they haven’t already found inside themselves. So their love becomes more of a sharing then a give/take situation. This gives rise to higher self esteem, confidence, and ability to dropping our ideas about others and ourselves.

 Finally I would say that through self-contentment we learn that only through acceptance of ourselves completely that we are able to actually change those parts about ourselves that we no longer prefer.

As Seneca says,

Why does no one admit his failings? Because he’s still deep in them. It’s the person who’s awakened who recounts his dream, and acknowledging one’s failings is a sign of health. So let us rouse ourselves, so that we may be able to demonstrate our errors. -Seneca

So as we rouse ourselves (which may not be mentally comfortable) it allows us to transform ourselves into a more preferential state.

Final Words on Emotional Alchemy.

This is the living definition that I have of emotional alchemy. I always look for ways to better integrate who I am as much as I am looking for better ways to articulate it to the people that I love (yes this includes you.) Because in you I see me. If you would like a copy of my book Emotional Alchemist you can pick it up in the amazon store.

image created by me.

Link to the Emotional Alchemist: Purchase It Here

Well It seems that I have finally completed something worth doing. It has been a wonderful life experience so far and hopefully will continue to do so. I will be putting up a separate section on this blog for those who would like the purchase the book emotional alchemy later on but I’m also putting a post up here to announce and promote it shamelessly. ;P

Thank you for all the support up until this point and thank you for this opportunity for me to share myself with you all. I will still be updating the blog of course, and if you have any suggestions on new topics, they are always welcome!

What is Emotional Alchemist about?

Emotional Alchemist is a culmination of practical philosophy (at least what I call it) that has integrated into my human experience over time. It has gone from intellectual into something very useful in which allows us all to relate to each other at the level we are at.

It deals with dropping our ideas of each other (and ourselves) so that we can better see what it is that is actually there. It allows us to re-learn of our non separation between humans as a whole. That there is this whole humanity operating in a complete movement in and of itself.

It talks about ways of dealing with the inner narrator as I have called it on this blog many times, and to see that the inner narrator is made up through ideas, concepts, and beliefs. That best way to describe this narrator is through the story that was conjured up through the Rubber Band Analogy.

I also have in these words a couple of different meditation methods which I’ve used for different purposes throughout my journey.

A book of unconditional love, self-content, letting go, surrendering control, and seeing you and other as not separate, litter these pages. I hope you enjoy the emotional alchemist as much as I enjoyed articulating it and sharing it. And will continue to share it with anyone I come into contact with.

Light and love to you all.
Emotional Alchemist – Purchase It Here

What If I Don’t Have A Kindle?

You’re in luck, because as long as you have some kind of eReader (this includes iPads, Smartphones, and PCs) you can download the kindle reading app that allows you to open kindle content and to read it!

Once downloaded onto any of your devices will you a huge potential library on your hands and hopefully be more open to supporting me in my continued writing efforts. I thank you again for the support and opportunity to share my journey with all that come across my blog, book, or path.

image via Koshyk on flickr

Last night I was doing a lot of research on love and how it physically effects the body. There is one chemical that is released that I was very intrigued by that as referred to as the “cuddle hormone.” This hormone is released every time we interact physically with another human being (show affections toward them.) And given our relationship could send our states into a euphoric bliss. The actually name for the hormone is called oxytocin and hugging, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, gazing into another eyes is the key to release for this.

This chemical in our body is what brings about strong bonds in our day to day relationships with each other.

It goes beyond just sexual attraction to one another and in my experience gives the experience of unity not just with yourself, but with any other individual that has chosen to share in their experience with you.

What I found delightful about this release is that not only physical touch, but meditation is one of the stronger methods in which it can be activated. No wonder! We may see so many lovely meditation practitioners given they are following a more heart path then mind path. (these are two different roads which diverge into the same truth but not necessarily the same personality outcome.)

Below I felt that there are a couple of ways that work well with this. I will also supply my inspiration for this short article that gives even MORE tips of releasing this in your body and allowing love to be more freely receptive inside.

• Meditation - It just takes 20 minutes a day. Breathing through your stomach deeply. If you can visualize someone you absolutely adore. Someone that makes you happy smiling back at you as you breath through your stomach. Then try visualizing you embracing your loved one and seeing how happy both of you are. Your body doesn’t distinguish between visualization and reality so it will treat it as if it was actually happening (like how our body would react in dreaming or day-dreaming).
  
• Massage - Get a massage! Or have a loved one give you a massage. The feeling of touch and comfort will release the love and appreciation you have in the other person and will strengthen whatever kind of relationship you have with them.
• Spend time - Take time out of your day to tell the ones in your life how much you appreciate them. Go see them, and do rad things with them! Share your life with them and let them open up and share their lives with you. Drop your limitations for them and enjoy who they are and their company.
• Have a cuddle or smooch session - Do this with your significant other if you have one, if not.. well stick to the top three!
• Chocolate - A couple of bites of dark chocolate are said to release oxycotin into the body. Not only that but dark chocolate has a lot of anti-oxidants that release into the body as well that will kill free radicals.

All of these things have implications of loving yourself above all else. You may be sharing time with others. But you are also learning to treat yourself with respect and that is that is the fuel of unconditional love.

Happy Valentines Day guys and don’t forget that this day is really like any other day, there is nothing saying you only have to do this one day out of the year. Make it a lifestyle, you will love what your life transcends into.

Inspiration:

• How to increase your oxycotin levels and feel great