Know what you are getting yourself into. That should be rule 1 of knowing yourself and agreeing to be attached. It is an agreement, here is why I say this. Attachments are based around your belief of something that became objectified through your ideals. Therefore you make the agreement that you will love that image of that thing, but have at that point skewed what it actually is in reality. Its beauty is crippled through attachment, the potential to love this thing unconditionally is not stunted at this point. This is not a bad thing, you just have to know what you’re getting yourself into and to take responsibility for that attachment. That one day that thing will present something that is outside of your view of it, and when it does, you have two choices. You can either change your perspective or be open to this new change, which I think would be ideal on your part, because it allows you to take it in with compassion and an open heart. The other is suffering, and here is what I mean by suffering, when an idividuals idea of the attachment is conflicting with their own and therefore they become unhappy with the outcome of this new environment that the attachment has created. One could say you suffer from fear of being outside of the comfort zone of your own personal reality.
Why emotional suffering persists
when there is attachment to things, emotional suffering persists based on not giving way to the fact that your idea might be outdated. Whether it is a loved one, acquaintance, teacher, dog, etc. all of those ideas that you have built up an image of this thing, and what its suppose to be like, how its’ suppose to act, what its’ temperament is, and other things of this sort. Its true though, take a look into your everyday life, and see how many things and people that you have put an idea, belief, or any other kind of label that you’ve put on them. For example, you walk into your friends apartment and your buddy Bill who is a real stand up guy, has a sense of humor, is very outgoing in your views is sitting in the corner just kind of to himself, and very reserved. You go up to him and ask him why hes not energetic and the sort and he tells you to leave him alone. Now you get upset at this maybe because hes usually a nice guy and for whatever reason he has snapped at you. You aren’t upset with him really for snapping at you (maybe a little) but rather for the fact that your idea of him was conflicted with what you were just presented with. However if you just let it go at this point and open your heart and see that every human being is susceptible to these elements based on circumstances, then it may be easier to take.
The emotional suffering comes from our ends, in regards to our ability to let go of our own ideas of someone to be receptive to the beauty of who this person really is. This is a constant cycle of letting go of your attachment to things. It does not mean to be detached from everything, because that’s just the other side of the same coin, but rather to allow things to fall in their right places and to appreciate every flavor that life is willing to give us and to flow with those things.
